(Foreword- Hi! Sorry I’ve neglected this blog for a while. But I’ve made a schedule and I plan to post once a week from now on. It will be on a Saturday. Have fun reading. )
Why Bubo is actually the hero and Perseus is useless.
“Release the Kraken!!!!”
I’ve seen this film so many times. It’s always on TV, it’s definitely a classic. And I say that I like it. I enjoy mythological films about the Greeks and the Gods and stuff. But in the 4th or 5th viewing of this film, I realised a lot of things. (Bad things.) Get ready.
My Main Point.
Bubo the owl solves all of Perseus’s problems, he would have literally died without him. Everyone would have died without Bubo, the robot sidekick.
Bubo is supposed to be helper character, and comic relief, but he actually solves most of the problems in the film.
Also: Perseus is the son a Zeus, so he’s a demi-god. And Zeus spoils him rotten.
Okay. Let’s ignore the cringey special effects of the eighties and focus on the actual plotline. Perseus never does anything on his own. He either has his magical gifts from the gods, his friends, Pegasus, or Bubo the owl to save him. (Mainly Bubo.)
Basically Zeus just gives him everything. He couldn’t have died if he tried!
Plus, another reason I hate Perseus in this- his eyebrows are annoying. Well, his whole face is annoying. He only has one expression throughout the whole film! Terrible acting. Now wonder he wasn’t cast in anything much else.
1. His magical friends, Pegasus and Bubo, are the only reason why he is a successful hero.
2. His gifts from the Gods: The sword, the helmet, the shield, and Bubo the owl, help him with everything he does.
The Important Parts of the Film. TOLD TRUTHFULLY.
(Could also be named: List of Bubo’s endeavours and Perseus’ averageness.)
Start of film:
- Some random backstory about God shenanigans, a prophecy, a wooden coffin floating out to sea, errm…Argos destroyed, and baby Perseus.
But tis not important really.
Let’s start where it’s more interesting:
– In the first part of the film, Perseus isn’t quite so hopeless; he actually pulls off some alright things.
He befriends ‘random old guy/ wise mentor figure’ (Ammon) and learns of the Princess Andromeda of Joppa. She was once engaged the Calibos, the son of the Goddess Thetis, but he was a bit naughty, so Zeus transformed him into a horrible satyr-like creature. Thetis is angry, and says that now no one can marry Andromeda. Any suitor must answer a riddle, and if the answer is wrong, they will be burned at the stake. Eek.
Armed with gifts from the gods, (shield, sword and helmet) Perseus captures the last surviving flying horse, Pegasus.
He follows Andromeda’s spirit on her nightly journey (???) to learn a new riddle from Calibos. That’s some creepy dream stalking. How would you even do that?! Anyway, armed with the answer to the riddle, Perseus escapes, but in a struggle, he is nearly killed by Calibos. However, he gets away by cutting off his hand. Ouch. Bit rude.
But then he loses his magical helmet in a swap. It makes you invisible! Don’t lose it. Silly. (And after the Medusa encounter later on, he loses his shield too. It dissolves in her toxic blood.) Good one. You need to be more careful with these items Perseus. They’re from the Gods! How many do you think you’re going to get?! …Well, he gets quite a lot actually. But whatever. He’s annoying.
Anyway, he arrives in Joppa, with the stolen answer to the riddle. So this weird stranger – with the inclination to wear very little clothing- is allowed to marry Andromeda. (She, of course, is fine with this.)
At the wedding ceremony, Andromeda’s Mum, Queen Cassiopeia, declares that her daughter is more beautiful than Thetis. Umm….whatt?! And Thetis – (aka Maggie smith / Young Mcgonagall) – is super mad.
Honestly, who insults the Gods, in ancient Greece? She is worse than Perseus. So then Thetis appears, and says that for this insult, (and the harm done to her son Calibos) Princess Andromeda must be sacrificed to the Kraken in 30 days. So this causes Perseus to start his whole escapade to try and save her. (The woman he just met, his soon-to-be-wife.)
Up in the clouds, Zeus tells Athena to give Perseus another gift- her owl. Oh no he didn’t. How dare heee. Athena is having none of that. She instead, gets Hephaestus to make her a mechanical owl. …And nobody seems to notice the difference? Or maybe Zeus has wised up and backed off. Who knows? Anyway…
So, Perseus, the Princess and his questing group come across a desert, and Bubo is sent to help them. He guides them through the terrain, (they would have never been able to travel quickly and safely on their own.) They would have got lost; never completing their quest in time, and/ or died.
-Meanwhile poor Pegasus is captured by Calibos. –
Perseus visits the Stygian Witches. Three women/ creatures, full of the world’s knowledge and wisdom. He needs to find out how to stop the Kraken. All three of them are blind, and they use 1 magical glass eye between them to see.
Bubo helps Perseus snatch the glass eye. He then uses it as leverage to get his many questions answered, promising to give it back after. They tell him the only thing that could defeat the Kraken is the head of Medusa. Anybody who looks at her is immediately turned to stone. She is just as dangerous as the Kraken itself.
Then he throws the eye on the floor. Dick move, Perseus. They are will be trying to find that for a good few minutes. So rude. They never did anything to him! They might have been cannibals.., but give them the benefit of the doubt! You don’t know them. Don’t be so judgy. Why are you so mean to people?! Honestly.
After that, is journeying, mountain climbing and princess deceiving.
Then follows a brief encounter with Death, and pleasant boat ride.
Next, they have a run in with the Underworld’s guard dog. Perseus spends forever pathetically trying to get a snake off his sword, meanwhile his friends were trying, and failing, to fight a two headed dog-beast! Help them, Perse!
Of course, then comes the famous ‘Medusa bit’.
His two friends are killed/ turned to stone. She is deadly, but with some pillar hiding and dubious shield /mirror reflection trick, Perseus manages to slice her head off. Phew. He wraps it in his magical, protective cloak-bag and they head back.
The hard part is over. Or is it? While they are sleeping, Calibos sneaks into their camp and sticks his trident into the bag containing Medusa’s head. Her toxic blood spills out, and from the droplets, emerge gigantic scorpions! Calibos disappears into the bushes, smiling creepily. Heh, heh.
Side Note – (Why can Perseus never defeat Calibos? He just keeps coming back and ruining things. Come on Perseus, get a grip! Well, he does eventually kill him, but not for ages. Furthermore, I must say, Calibos look extremely scary! Eww, have you seen his face? They actually did a good job with his makeup and prosthetics. Disturbing.)
Cue insect fighting and more deaths. Then starts a rubbish boss fight between Perseus and Calibos. Whip strangling and pathetic scuffling ensues. Perseus is being surprisingly wimp-y. Finally, Perseus kills him with a very unlikely sword throw. It thuds straight into his chest; he is skewered. Lol. Finally, Perseus you’ve done something right! And without any help! (Though he did use his magic sword, so… I guess it doesn’t count.)
After battling the scorpions, and then Calibos, Perseus is a bit sleepy. He collapses. Of all times, Perse?!
How will he reach Andromeda in time- now chained to a sacrificial rock?
But Zeus secretly intervenes and restores his strength. Naughty Zeus.
Bubo frees Pegasus from the lair of Calibos all by himself, destroying the camp at the same time. Nice one! Perseus then swiftly rides Pegasus towards the Sea cliffs of Joppa. Without him, he would have never gotten there in time.
Bubo distracts the Kraken – causing great harm to himself – giving Perseus more time to get there. He is smashed onto a rock, seemingly hurt. Well, as hurt as a metal owl can be. Cue sudden pang of sadness for the little hero owl. (Why is he the best, and most likable, character? He can’t even speak, he just clicks and hoots. I guess being created by the Gods does give you a certain apparent coolness.)
Anyway, when Perseus flies in to save the day, (Hooray) we think it’s about to be all over. Turned to stone – Boom. But not quite yet.
Perseus, (the idiot) fumbles with the bag containing medusa’s head for a good few minutes, trying to open it, and drops in into the sea. Great. They are knocked into the water, oh no. How are they ever gonna get out of this one? Bubo of course! He recovers, flies down, and somehow locates the bag. (Which would have, no doubt, began to sink beneath the waves, into the never ending sea.)
Bubo brings it to Perseus just in time, so he can use the head and turn the kraken to stone. No yummy princess for you. Yay! Victory! Well done, Perse. Just kidding, literally all he does is hold the head up. And manages not to look at it.
Great job. Seriously though, Bubo is the true hero.
And then after all that, Perseus throws the head into the sea! Errrm, maybe you should keep that? You might need it again in the future, for another crazy monster? Or if not, don’t throw it into the sea?! The poor fish or people that come across it will be turned to stone and killed. 😥 Dick move, Perse.
Hooray, all is well. Perseus and Andromeda get married. He’s now… King? And up on Mount Olympus, Zeus protects Perseus once again, by forbidding any of the other Gods to take revenge on him. Then, his likeness is set amongst the stars as a constellation, ‘to forever remind mankind of the values of heroism and bravery.’ Thanks Daddy.
Pegasus, deservingly, gets a constellation too. Even Andromeda and Cassiopeia get one!
But not poor Bubo. Where is his recognition? I know he isn’t in the original Greek myth, but in this film, he is a pivotal character. All his and life-saving and plot-moving efforts are ignored. This just proves even more, that he is a hero. This weird gold owl doesn’t need praise or stars, he is just a cool guy. He will sit on the branches of life, staring out across Greece, hooting a lonely, but accomplished little tune. :’) ❤
Literally the only thing Perseus does competently in the film… and ON HIS OWN – is kill Medusa. But still, what if he didn’t have his shiny, mirror-shield. ? Anyway… He gets a couple of points for that, I suppose. And in his weird fight in the swamp with Calibos, he cuts of his hand. That was alright. Then he kills some scorpions and kills Calibos…eventually. But that’s it. And by the way, all his friends are dead now. Cuz of this mission.
Basically, Perseus is fairly good at fighting. That is literally all he does.
All in all, ‘Clash of the Titans’ is not a bad film.
Especially considering the time period it was made in- the work in stop-motion visual effects was very advanced then. But concerning the plot and characters; there are a lot of questions to be raised. And watching in 2016, its hard not to laugh. Sorry.
Woh, rant over.
P.s – I don’t get the Title of the film.
It’s called ‘Clash of the Titans’ but the Kraken is apparently the only ‘titan’ left. But the Kraken isn’t a titan! Somewhere in the film, a witch says “A Titan against a Titan!” -referencing Medusa and the Kraken, because they will have to face one of them. But Medusa isn’t a titan either! She was a woman who got turned into a gorgon. She’s just a monster, so why is she called a ‘Titan’? This is wrong.*shakes head*.
There was so much head shaking an eye rolling whilst watching this film, as you could imagine. I couldn’t stop.
P.p.s. – Don’t get me started on the 2010 remake. The special efforts were good, but that’s about it. It was worse.
I Hope you liked this post! it was quite a long one, aha.
What do you think? Also – Which movie poster is your favourite?
Thanks for reading.